last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize