im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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