Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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