my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize