Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
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our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
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Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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