If that was your dad, he is hot
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Mom said you looked used
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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