My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'm always down for nudity.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize