I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize