9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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