The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
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do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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