She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
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i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
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TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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