Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
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that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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