...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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