Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
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She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
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We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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