i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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