sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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