And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
You can't special order awesome
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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