Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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