My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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