There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize