so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
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