i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize