Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
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He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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