did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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