And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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