dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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