i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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