Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So much rum. So many feels.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
