I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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