those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize