dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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