I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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