the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just had sex on a roof
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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