I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
