If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
