We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize