Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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