yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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