make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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