chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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