I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize