Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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