Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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