so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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