Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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