just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
How's work?
Spinning.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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