Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize