...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
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I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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