so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize