i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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