Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
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He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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