I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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